need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hope mine doesn't look like that
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
