y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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