I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Randomize
