she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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