Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
