Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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