He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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