when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
