she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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