your parents love me but you hate me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
