Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
