God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
