All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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