I murdered the dance floor call the cops
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he shaved USA in his pubs
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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