Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She said her name was "party"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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