maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you inspire me to be a worse person
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
