i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
