I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
