So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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