At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
