I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
