Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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