I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Your penis caused this!
i out mim tonsoeep
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