The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
