she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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