I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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