grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
