somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize