Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
