we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
