chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you traded sex for a burrito?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
