you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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