Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
