This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
