New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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