just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
