Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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