S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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