I met the friendliest cop last night
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
