When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
