um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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