a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
