I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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