i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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