I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
