I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
