youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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