I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
