apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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