it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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