Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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