First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
