he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
