do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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