I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
