I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
