I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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