please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
