You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
