I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
