Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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