She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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