It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
