I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
