Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
